Jokes which females should be banned from reading

Story 1:

A man loves a lady who is 15 or 16 years old.

Both of them had a secret affair and when the relationship stirred up the family, they fled their homes and threatened to commit suicide if the family did not approve of the relationship.

If the relationship lasts for a year, it can be regarded as a transgression for enticing young children and youths and risk landing in court.

If the situation lasts for three years, it is regarded as “stealing love” or  “unjust love”

If the situation lasts for 6 or 7 years, it will be regarded as true love, surmounting mountains and difficulties for love.

Conclusion:

What you do is not important

What is important is how long you do it!

Story 2:

A lady…

If she sleeps with a blue collar worker or a worker outside of the province, she is regarded as a social subject.

If she sleeps with someone from a noble family or who is famous, she is regarded as a long-legged…

If she sleeps with a sports-star or movie-star, she can announce in a dignified way that she is “professional”

She would expose her flesh to the public and nobody would have any intention to capture her.

Conclusion:

What you do is not important

What is important is who you do it with!

Story 3:

All of a sudden, the public bathroom had a power glitch causing a big fire.

Many ladies ran out into the road but was not in time to put on their clothes.

The intelligent ladies are the ones who did not use their hands to cover their bodies but those who used their hands to cover their …. faces.

Conclusion:

Pay attention to clues in all matters

Story 4:

A woman, who is not sought after by men, ran to a police and reported:

“I have carefully put money in my underwear, and a handsome fellow standing next to me on the crowded bus has taken my money!”

The police was surprised:

“Why is it he could take the money from such a “sensitive” spot and you did not discover it?”

The unwanted female whined:

“Who would have imagined that he only wanted money?”

Conclusion:

A talented businessman is the one who takes the money of the customers whilst making the latter feel ecstatically happy.

Story 4:

The toilet staff of a company was depressed as the users are often absent-minded in the toilet.

To resolve the problem of a pool of yellow water on the floor, the company stuck on the wall the following notice:

“Not being able to reach the urine receptacle proves that yours is short”

“Urinating outside the urine receptacle proves yours is hanging down”

Immediately from the following days onwards, the toilets were very clean and the users were not absent-minded any more.

Conlusion:

Instruct your customers in a specific and impressive way

Story 6:

The parents of a young lady launched a competition to find a suitable son-in-law.

Man A said that he has 1 million in his bank account

Man B said boastfully:

“My landed property values 2 millions”

The parents of the young lady appeared agreeable.

Man C conceded that he does not have anything but revealed that he only has one child currently inside the womb of their daughter.

Conclusion:

If you wish to compete with rivals, an insider is your trump card.

Translated by Gary Chan (*)

(*) Gary is a class participant of Vietnam Language Centre in Singapore

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